{Contemplative}

Today I am up at the office early because I really wanted to blog..but today is going to be a REALLY crazy day! We have are board coming down and were trying to get the office finished ( its been under construction) and since my job is cleaning, I am trying to clean up after the construction ( fun )! So I will be crazy busy!

Its one of those contemplative days for me..I have so many emotions pulling in so many directions. One, I am excited and happy! I have 21 fallowers now! And my post yesterday got 11 comments! Thats a record for me! I was getting down about blogging cause it seemed like no one out there was really interested and was I just typing to and emty hole that goes on forever and ever. And now I can see im not..makes me happy. On the other side, there is so many other emotions pulling me. Some days I feel so alone here. I dont have allot of friends, so I end up hanging out with Me,Myself,and I. And I really start to hate those people after awhile! :) I have some friends, but they seam to be getting busyer and busyer. Then it hits me every once in a while about being single. Dont get me wrong..Im happy with it right now! I now that is what God has for me at this point in time and when the timing is right He will bring the most amazing guy into my life, but some days, when you read about your friends ( and sister ) getting married...well..you now! And last but not least,I have been really contemplating why I am here in French Camp and what is next for me! Dont get me wrong again, I love my job! I love working with these kids, I love answering phones for The Sermon On The Mount(SOTM) ministry(www.sermononthemount.org) and I dont allways mind cleaning the office..but the hardest part is, its not a paid job! I work like a missionary is a foren country does..I have to raise my support..and so far...no one has sent me any support. So I live from month to month...The Lord has been good, I have been able to pay my cell phone bill every month, I walk to work as much as I can to save gas in the car, and my parents are being awsome and not making me pay the car insurance right now, but my parents work with the same ministry and there support leave has droped a ton and I dont want to make them pay it! The other hard thing about not having money is I cant go see movies or anything for that matter with friends. I have been excited about Winter Jam and now, if it was not for my amazing friend Jon I would have not been able to go over spring break.

Ok..sorry all..should not be complaining like that. The Lord has given me and blessed me with so much! I cannot complian! But if you think of me...please send a small prayer up! I really could use it!

Thank you all so much for your sweet comments on my blog! It may sounds funny .... but when I read them..it makes any crap in my day, kinda just fall away! For real...Makes me feel loved! I am so glad I have so many amazing blogger friends! :)

Thanks for listening to me complain! You all are amazing!