Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Enjoy The Moment!

I was having a txting conversation with a cousin today, She is getting married in July 2014 and we where talking about her wedding and how she is doing and all.
She made a statment that touched my heart so much!
" It is a good thing to just sit and enjoy this time in your life!"
We where talking about our relatonships and the men God had in our lives, but that small statment hit home in so many ways for me.

I have said many times on this blog, years ago up to just weeks ago, that I have to sit in awe of God allot. And I do that, allot in the last few months. But still, there was something nagging at me about that statement.

And than I relized what it was, I was not enjoying the moment!

I have always been one to live from one big moment to the next. I dont take time to really really enjoy the small things. I need to have my next thing mapped out, planned, and ready.
But I am suddenly learning I need to ENJOY the small things. I need to cherish the times I have right now! I will never have them again. Yes, some of things things that will happen will be just as nice if not better, but I will never go back to those small moments I passed up on my 80 miles an hour speeding by focus!
When I have things planned I have also noticed that it can hurt me at times. Dont get me wrong,I like things planned out, and I think that is a good thing. But I have found sometimes, in my planning, I stop seing the small things again. I miss the things that should just come natural, from the heart.

So this is me, saying I am done missing the small things. I am done not living in the moment. I am done planning every step out. Yes, I will think about the next thing, and I will plan and talk about them, but I will not let them run my life.
This is me saying that I am going to look for the litle things. Cherish the small notes and smiles. Remember every small part of that place, person, or thing. Remeber that all off it will be gone in a "blink of an eye" And that I have no redo button!


Friday, August 23, 2013

Stop Trying So Hard!!

You know the feeling...Door is locked, so we wiggle the knob, than we see if we can push it open, than we start to bang on it TILL SOMEONE COMES AND OPENS IT!!!!
We know there is someone or something back there, and we want to get in! They have to come open it if we try long enough right?

And than you read the quote above. And suddenly your arm drops to your side and you just stand there, staring at that door. For me I stood there staring at my blank door for some time. I figured if I would stare at it long enough it may open than!
Some day's I sat by it, tears falling down my cheeks. Some days I went back to banging on it, even yelling at God and telling Him how unfair He was and just how much He was hurting me.
That girl, became focused on that door, and not the life, blessings, and people around her. That door was everything to me, or at least what was behind it at the time. My dreams  where so big, and those dreams where right behind that door and I could not get to them!
Dreams of not being alone all my life, dreams of a boyfriend and husband some day. Dreams of a family, dreams I did not want to let go off, and dreams that I wanted NOW!!

It was not until I finally got sick of living that life, and walked away from that door, that God put another one in front of me, and let me open it!
As I look back on that door I spent so much time and tears over, I realize just how ugly that door really is.
Its chipped, an ugly color, and a plain door handle. Its cracked a bit now and I can see a few things, you know what..what was inside was nice, but I can see now how much better this door is! That door was not bad or horrible or anything...But I would have missed out on so many blessings!
That door was not my door! I was banging on a door that was not even there for me! But yet I was in a hurry to open a door I was going for the best looking one I could, at the time at least.
Yes, I have more door's ahead of me, some closer to me to open than others, but I don't  plan on doing any banging this time! I'll be glad to wait in that hallway and let the Lord open that door!
There all beautiful doors, such nice color and feel! I cannot wait to see the beauty behind them..all in good time heart, all in good time!


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Giving Up.

Its Wednesday already! CRAZY!!! This week has been flying by! I have no clue why this week and not last week! 

I have been doing allot of soul searching the last few weeks. I know I have not dug deep into my life for some time so I figured better late than never!
God has been opening so many doors and all, and I have been seing more and more everyday how much I need to be seeking His face more than I ever have! 
Maybe that has come with growing up. Im finally realizing just how much I have not incorporated the things into my life I need to! I am so glad that its never too late for me!

I love the quote above! It is so true!
I think so often we (and when I say we I am including myself in that) want to think if we admit that we feel that way, we are less of a person or something! I always want to be strong and make it seem like I have it all pulled together! I have to take a reality check and be honest with myself first, than I'll be honest with others.
I don't have it all together, and I must admit I wont ever have it all together. I will always have something that I cannot understand or control  But its ok! I do not have to control everything in my life!
For those of you who are RLF's (real life friends) or anyone who has been a bloggy friend for some time know, you know that I have this need to be in control of so much! I am a planner...I want it all set out and than when we get that plan we are going to stick with it! And so help me if those plan's get changed!
I am learning to LET GO! I will tell you, its not been easy! I think in the last week I have felt more like a 5 year old than I ever have! I have stomped my feet, yelled, and complained to God so much! " But I had this planned and I don't want to give that up!"   " Why should I have to give up MY time!"
Than as always I hear the "still small voice". "It was never yours to hang on to!" 
Sigh, Yes God I hear you.
So hard, yet I have to let go and just step back!

Andrew txted me on Sunday and after 30min I finally admitted I was having an attitude about letting go of some things I wanted for my weekend down in Texas. The txt I got back broke me. The Its going to be ok we will have fun and its ok to change some plans attitude he had slapped me in my face.  It was time to snap out of it!

Anyone else have trouble letting go of life??


Friday, August 16, 2013

Roses, Weekends, Blessings, and My Life!

I am playing catch up!

Last Saturday Andrew drove up from Texas to spend Saturday with me!

This was a txt from Friday night!

When he pulled in he arrived with these!!
 Yes I almost cryed :)

First Picture of the Day!

We headed out to the Rushsprings Watermelon Fest with my family!!
We had allot of fun! There was a car show and we just walked around!

After that we split from the family and went out to eat! We also played 3 games of bowling! I won the first one but after that it was down hill for me! LOL! First date was a success! :)

We had supper with my family and than had a dessert time for some other family and friends to meet him! It was crazy loud and all over there but he was amazing about it all!

This picture was take just before he left :(

One day was NOT enough time! As we where saying goodbye he turned to me and said "well I guess this is gonna always be the hardest part!" I agree 100%! Long distance relationships officially are old!

I love my Saturday and time with my amazing boyfriend! I think I am in more awe after Saturday with how much God has blessed me with!
I miss him allot but phone call's sorta make up for it!

I will be there in Texas Labor Day weekend so we will have a few day's together!! I cant wait! Only 14 days left :)

These make me so happy! They lasted almost a week!

This is where they are at currently!!

On Sunday my sister and I where all fancy for Church!
Love this Chica so much!! 

Well, I will close for now!!!


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

My Status has Changed!!!

Hey Friends!!
SOOOOOOOOOOO Much to tell you...where do I start??!!!!??!!

This last Saturday my relationship status changed!!! 

I am know dating this amazing guy from Texas, Y'all meet my boyfriend Andrew!

The Lord really has blessed me with an amazing Godly guy!

We have been talking for some time know and on Saturday he called my dad and asked if he could date me!
Yes, he is a keeper :)

I have always had a different outlook on dating! I never want to date just to date, I wanted to date to find the person I would spend the rest of my life with. I have never dated before now.
I have always set my standards high for a guy. I have always wanted someone like my dad, humble and in love with the Lord! I always wanted someone calmer than me to keep my feet on the ground, and I always wanted someone who had the same moral standards as me. 
I never backed down from those! I got weird looks,and laughs, but I knew deep down, he was out there.
I found this today on Pinterest:

For me this quote above speaks volumes! To me it say's that Ive relized why i have always waited and never lowered my standards to find someone.

As I sit here typing this post now, I get tears in my eyes! I still cant grasp fully how God has blessed me like this! I made a choose to be me, and live the way I felt I needed to, and that person would be out there and would come along some day. 
Last year I struggled so much with waiting on the Lord, and I finally said "Ok God, its all up to you, use me in whatever way you want to!" And here I am now, watching the Lord bless me!
I love the verse in Psalm 37:4
" Delight thyself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart!"
That verse has been such a comfort to me! I have it painted on a canvas hanging in my room! When I started to love the Lord more than anything else, thats when I watched the doors open!

I have to tell you, if you are someone out there who is waiting for that high standard guy, he is there, DONT ever back down. Cause when you find him, he WILL thank you for having those standards! I promise!

This morning I went on a walk as the sun was rising and I just stopped and watched it! I just stood there overwhelmed by what all God was handing to me! I really felt Him there with me, almost like He was just telling me thru that sunrise " See my daughter, I give good things!" I have always known He was a loving God, but its just so powerful to experience it first hand!

I cannot even start to tell you all how happy I am! It has been so cool to see the Lord work right in front of me! 

I pray, that as you seek His will for your life you will see and experience the same blessing as me!
And for girls out there who have stood up for something different like I have..HOLD ON!!! Its worth it!


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